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| SHUTTERSTOCK |
Build a
harmonious marriage is the dream of every couple, but at the same time be a lifelong challenge. Just like
human biological age, the marriage is no phase or stage. Understanding the difference phases in marriage will help us build a healthier
relationship and quality.
There are 7 phases or
stages of marriage that we need to understand to produce a more harmonious relationship
Phase 1: Passion / Passion
This is the honeymoon phase, 0-2 years. This period is so strong mutual interest unites with your partner. This keen sense of commitment towards bringing us to share. But this stage is generally very short, about 2 years old. After that most couples begin to feel lost its appeal 'magic' is.
At this stage, the passion is very strong as a wave of very pleasant feeling. To the extent that the world seemed to belong to both. Just like the first fall in love and courtship. At this stage, intimacy began to wake up, as well as mutual respect for one another.
Phase 2: Realistic
At this stage, the honeymoon coming to an end. Each one began to realistically look at the state of the couple and looking to the future. Began to appear disappointment to find that many couples who had no visible deficiencies. For example, you begin to find a wife forget tidying the kitchen or the toilet seat properly. You find a couple lazy bath or carelessly put stuff.
Disappointment starts to accumulate in your liver. The beginning of the inevitable conflict. At this time, you both need to learn to accept what their partner. With all its pros and cons. Need to develop unconditional love and acceptance. The fruit was still able to respect even find weaknesses partner.
Another attitude is, you need to learn to communicate assertively true feelings. Delivering what you want from your partner. While learning to empathize and listen to the deepest needs of the couple. This creates a strong foundation, with mutual support in the years that is getting hard to build intimacy
Assertive communication is to convey the real feelings, especially negative emotions without speaking partner attacked. Most of us, are generally reluctant to express feelings such as anger, sadness and disappointment, then select press / store
Harbored emotions like anger and disappointment especially in a long time only hurt themselves. There's nothing wrong with sadness or anger is no excuse origin and delivered in an appropriate manner. Convey anger expression, and the right choice of words at the right time.
Eg: "Pa, we should talk about something important between us, when the time is good for Papa?"
Example angry assertive: "Pa, I was disappointed and many are angry that Daddy forgot my birthday yesterday ..."
Compare provocative angry reply: "That is, weve Papa nature is selfish wife always forgotten. You never cared for my birthday "
Angry assertive makes us relieved, because it does not need to suppress anger. But without the need to personally attack our spouse. Good communication is maintained
Phase 3: Uprising
At this stage you begin to miss with a couple of his friends. Your wife began to frequent social gathering or a reunion. Lingering love hanging out and shopping at the mall. While your husband prefers preoccupied with her hobbies. No one likes fishing, not spend a little time to exercise after work. Not a few came home even fun chatting. Sometimes arrive home until late at night without a news post and without guilt. You are getting irritated, feeling your partner has changed, cool.
Just like a pubescent teenager averse way with her parents, the wife wants a trip to the mall but her husband chose to play badminton with konconya. The most severe is when each one of them wants to build his own career. Wife began to feel not satisfied just at home taking care of children. Prestige only to receive a monthly payment from the husband. Wife started their own businesses and had money, started to emerge feeling rivaled.
Because it already had a career and money themselves unwittingly and inevitably wife felt her husband begin to dominate the conversation. Begin when fighting or conflict. Love in the midst of this situation is becoming less easy. With increasing age, rather than succumb even both the self-righteous, and accused pasangannyalah wrong. Blaming your partner as the cause of an unhappy household.
Feeling offended increasingly piling up, and began to tend to think negatively towards couples. Mind-reading or reading minds husband. "Do you think he is ....."
As a result, all the good daripasangan not visible, all so negative. Begin each shut down, angry when criticized couples
This stage however inevitable. At this time you need to learn the art of managing conflict. (Read the book Marriage Skills)
Often the problem arises because of the content of the conflict itself. Precisely because its source has been found hidden anger and frustration against the couple. This is what makes you a negative feeling of doing good though mate.
To show your anger choose to act against the wishes of the couple. For example, your husband ask ehh saving you even wasteful. You ask your wife faithful andanya ehhh actually cheating. Secretly you changed jobs. This could be disastrous early marriage including divorce.
Stage 4: Cooperation
While the progress of her marriage has also become increasingly complicated. Career climb, getting bigger houses, personal commitment deepened with the advent of children.
In the stage of cooperation, such as the nature of the business requires marriage. Get rid of all first-love romance, emotion, and the realization of personal matters. There are monthly fees to be paid, investment to care, medical attention, and most importantly, the cost of school children.
Stage 5: Reunion
If you have kids, this cooperation phase can last 10-20 years, and will disappear suddenly. Parenting commitments will be reduced, stable financial problems, career is set, and any bill can be paid. Then what? For couples who are happy, this is the time to appreciate each other each other back. Not as a parent or provider, but as a lover and friend. Reach the stage for peace, happiness and reconciliation.
It all sounds wonderful but often difficult to achieve. Fire of passion must be re-stocked; disappointment and distance of middle age should be set; roles and expectations of marriage needs to be rebuilt.
Stage 6: Explosion
Originators are job losses, health problems, or moving to a new city. It could be financial problems, illness, until the death of parents. This happens while you live life to the age of middle-aged and elderly. In this phase, between you or your partner will be dealing with large events that could affect your relationship for a day, a year or a lifetime. The sixth stage while others tend to appear in a sequence, phase explosion can occur at any time during your marriage. Especially at the age of 40 to 50 years.
When faced with a personal crisis, marriage can actually be a source of comfort. Conversely it could also be a new source of fear. Blast through the stages of this task is: the best possible face challenges and changes of life there. Take care of yourself in order to stay happy and healthy, not determined the situation around. Wedding can still be a source of happiness every day, as long as you are competent to manage stress.
Stage 7: Completion
Survey found that marital happiness emerged after decades, a long road. Happiness is not a destination wedding. Happiness is bestowed in the middle of a wedding trip. After passing through various ups and downs, gains and unfortunate. With the increasing amount of children and spouses already know yourself the more each can enjoy the wedding. After living together for so long can tolerate attitudes, and understand each other's needs. In each stage of this refinement "know" each other is the key.
It's also important to remember, if you want to stay happy lest you lose the childlike nature anakanberapapun any age and you have a lot of wrinkles. Learn humor and joking until old age.
Maintain throughout the life of love is the key to enjoying this blessed relationship. Although a lot of bad experiences in the past, live the present, and not in the past. There's no perfect partner. Each pair called each other to improve death call.
Cover
Building a successful marriage is a lifelong challenge. Understand the different phases of the wedding can help you build a stronger relationship and better.
Discussion:
1. New things what you get from reading this?
2. You are at a phase where?
3. Sedsng what problems you face today with a partner?
4. Commitment to what you take to improve the situation?
